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Ventures Into Love: Day 8

Sometimes, our traps are so simple.

The keys to these traps can be right there and yet, we fail to see them. Until we do. And realise that there was no need for repairs from the outside. It was us the whole damn time.
 For me, the last practice( playing the detective) was mind boggling because I am now discovering so many words that I use which don’t serve me in the very least.
And the fun part is so fun: choosing a new thought along the lines of a belief that is better suited for me is so much better than shopping!
Today’s activity goes into this very same practice with a more specific goal at heart; to identify and change a story you are telling.
This might be any kind of a story – a story that explains and justifies why you are the way you are, or a story that makes it okay for you to not be happier, a story that you think is true of yourself a story you feel trapped by, a story of neglect, a story for lack of compassion – that you tell to yourself or to others.
Basically, you look for a nice juicy big tale you are telling, a tale you have been telling for so long that it automatically flows out of your mouth, every single time a related topic pops up.

Not everyone has a deep rooted story that is trapping them. It might be a simple line you heard somewhere that you got used to repeating.
Whatever grabs your attention when you think of a story you want to change, that is it!
Once we get that story( our trap), we don’t have to analyse it or probe into it or anything.
The actual practice calls for you to look at it in a different light; treat whatever happened( if it’s an actual incident that is trapping you) as if it opened the doorway to new insights, powerful comprehensions and revelations. See it for what it made possible; see how it changed you and tell that story, the story of how the incident brought upon you, a whole new exciting adventure.

This is quite a good way to change a story, a bitter memory.
I also have other practices up my sleeve, which work for traps you've identified, but are struggling with.
One is, to make a list of ten things you are grateful for about that event. This is almost the same as the practice above. Except here, you go more specific and actually find the best gifts you received out of the experience. Sometimes, doing this practice can help you completely turn over a bad story into a magnificent one! You might discover extraordinary details that you had failed to see when you were lamenting about it.

Other times however, a memory, a story, a sentence, a picture or whatever you are feeling trapped by - which is not letting you move past it and move into greater ventures- can be hard to look at in a different light.
You will feel panicky, trapped and all these things that you can’t seem to stand for another moment in time.
At those times, letting go is the best thing you can do. Simply imagine the pressure that the story is putting on you and feel it float away. Feel it leave you. You don’t have to know where it goes; you don’t have to 'deal' with it; Simply let it go.

I dealt with a couple beliefs I had:
I have been telling myself and everyone I meet that I am not an easy person. I suck at social meetings. I am a loner. I am hard to get to know. I prefer being alone. I don’t make friends easily. Blah blah blah...
I can’t believe that I used to tell this dumb ass story for 4 years!
Recently though, this story began bugging me; I told people I was a loner, but I longed to be among friends. I visualised laughter and love and crowds of friends; what was I playing at?

The realization struck me hard. I had started this story when I had gotten hurt pretty badly by some friends back in the sixth and seventh grade.
That was when I started this story as a means to explain why I had been shunned. Stupid of me, I now see.
So my go to lines for these days has been this:
I am a great conversationalist.
I am full of kindness and compassion.
I am so rocking awesome and fun!
    Because, when you have been telling yourself a story for that long, you start going along with it, in spite of yourself. You just can’t help it.
But having a mantra, an affirmation to help you along is really helpful. It can help you turn that story into a wow story! Or, it can help release you, simply and easily, which is what we really want after all.
So get your mouse trap out and go snoopin'! It is releasing time!


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